ArOuND

There has been a lot of bullshit around me these days. I feel I can't deal with it. But actually somewhere deep in my heart whenever I think this I hear that all this bullshit aint gonna stick around me for a ling time. As a matter of fact it has made me stronger. What doesn't kill me will just make me stronger. I would love to get out of this shit as soon as possible. But don't know why the more I care the more I think about it the more I sink in deeper in it!! I feel like i should let it loose and let it go and allow myself to live back my freedom. Yeah I will do that the day I get out of this bullshit people who passed by me without giving a damn will repent ya I'm getting over this bullshit but not the bullshitters. Yeah they gonna repent and yeah there's revenge on my mind!!!

UnDeRsTaNd!!!

They ask me to understand and deal with the situations I'm facing right now. They are right and their point but in their view. But I feel like "what are you saying!! does it make any sense??" I'm just so in a fix state of my mind I cant think of anything. Simply do my work keeping things to myself suppressing my words and listening to whatever they say is just not me!! It feels like I'm killing the real me and i feel it will soon happen. As my 9 month life here at this place is where the real me can't survive anymore. He cries yet tries. Put's his thoughts to a side yet gets no ride by anyone's side. I feel lonely and lost in darkness in this bright sunny day in a street full of people!!

Jackets

I realize that people in here just don’t wear jackets due to cold. They mainly wear jackets to hide their inner self. May be their fears their little secrets their scars. Some people I see are too jolly and happy. They have their own reasons like a good job and someone back there at home who cares for them and awaits them or probably due to the person they hold beside them. But some people who are lost and cry due to the mad changes they have gone through due to changes in their surroundings. As for me I categorize in the people who are lost and confused the third and type which is confused between happiness and sadness. There might be many and unlimited thoughts going on in my mind every second what even I can’t specify. Sometimes I feel like crying and easing my heart up whereas sometimes I feel like by crying I just make myself weak and it does not help at all. It’s a drastic change I’ve been through. The reason why I’m staying here is some people have told me that I should go and book a ticket back to India but all that came to my mind at that time was… “Fuck you!!! Fuck your thoughts about me!! Fuck what you say. Fuck what you’ve been through!! I’ll prove you wrong no matter what!!” But sometimes this confidence fades away. Some have told me I should take my time. It will take time for me to adjust. But what I feel is by the time I adjust here I’ll be just like the crowd wearing jackets and hiding myself and advising someone about life. But I guess he too would think the same things I am. But put me in a different category like the most different of all species. Take me as the most rarest or most dangerous of all snakes which is put in a different box for it does not consider itself superior but can’t go as inferior as the other pitiful snakes. 

Some MaDness

Well I've been thinking about people on facebook these days. Some people completely nail my head to think. What I mean to say is are people just really kiddish or they take themselves too seriously. I should just say people need to stop doing the un-friend thingy it just makes me mad. Well I would confess that i do it. But its only when i fell that i don't require or know people in my profile. But some people just act silly like i would say they would back up their words by deleting you on facebook rather than to face you and tell what is the problem with them. These people just get to my nerves. They just un-friend a person due to some dumb fight they had. Well it frustrating as well as interesting as well as confusing to understand people. People can really stand apart by their attitude. But too much of that just swells their head too large to fit the gates of normality.

NigHt

The night has just begun. My soul finds peace in this dark as it calms me and says life lived in darkness without too much exposure to the sun. Is better than the one living in scorching sun and to burn yourself.

Its been me, my loneliness and the darkness. I like the nights as its peace. No noise, no disturbance and no people arguing about their different view and point of opinion. Its just that the night soothes my soul. I appreciate the peoples peaceful sleep at nights even though of their millions of problem.

I love sleeping. But my favorite sleep is in the day time when people wake up back with their daily arguments tensions and struggle. I need peace to my soul and its found in the darkness and peace of the night.

Dayz

I'm off to Newzealand!!! Well i'm very happy with my this decision. I would rather i am super excited for it. But the days of fun are coming to an end. I completed my Highschool and am waiting for my visa approval for Newzealand. But its getting delayed. And its just frustrating me. I am just getting tired!! Its been Long I'm waiting! Its become like a jail to me!!! Now India is Just like holding me back. First it was fun as all my friends were free and had time but now all of them have their colleges started and i'm sitting here alone and bored!! Its just getting too annoying. Well i've been unable to sleep. Its like i cant express it in words so i decided to write it down. But I'm a damn lazy bum. So could not pen it down. So rather decided to write it on blogs. This is some small part of my impatience towards things. Its been like three months and i'm just enjoying this annoying holidays.