I realize that people in here just don’t wear jackets due to
cold. They mainly wear jackets to hide their inner self. May be their fears
their little secrets their scars. Some people I see are too jolly and happy.
They have their own reasons like a good job and someone back there at home who
cares for them and awaits them or probably due to the person they hold beside
them. But some people who are lost and cry due to the mad changes they have
gone through due to changes in their surroundings. As for me I categorize in
the people who are lost and confused the third and type which is confused
between happiness and sadness. There might be many and unlimited thoughts going
on in my mind every second what even I can’t specify. Sometimes I feel like
crying and easing my heart up whereas sometimes I feel like by crying I just
make myself weak and it does not help at all. It’s a drastic change I’ve been
through. The reason why I’m staying here is some people have told me that I
should go and book a ticket back to India but all that came to my mind at that
time was… “Fuck you!!! Fuck your thoughts about me!! Fuck what you say. Fuck
what you’ve been through!! I’ll prove you wrong no matter what!!” But sometimes
this confidence fades away. Some have told me I should take my time. It will
take time for me to adjust. But what I feel is by the time I adjust here I’ll
be just like the crowd wearing jackets and hiding myself and advising someone
about life. But I guess he too would think the same things I am. But put me in
a different category like the most different of all species. Take me as the
most rarest or most dangerous of all snakes which is put in a different box for
it does not consider itself superior but can’t go as inferior as the other
pitiful snakes.
